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Saturday, March 10, 2007

And the Next SpiderMan is...

So word is that Tobey Maguire, is getting tired of playing the Amazing Spiderman, which really makes no sense to me, cause how the hell can you get bored of swinging around Manhattan on a friggen spider web and fighting blood thirsty villains?

Actually, he probably got tired of having to kiss princess snaggle tooth Kirsten Dunst in all three of the spider movies and having to feign any sort of attraction for her dirty bath water soaking ass, i mean seriously why does she always look so unsanitary? you are worth millions of dollars bitch! act like it, throw some soap in the mix!

so when they DO get around to making spider man 4, which they no doubt will, I mean geez part 3 has Venom!

Fucking VENOM!!!!!!!!!, ( sorry I just Geeksploded all over the place) well you know that's gonna be a hit and when they come around to making that 4th installment here are some picks to possibly replace senor Seabiscuit:

Jake Gyllenhaal- Obvious choice, he's hunky and vulnerable at the same time and i could totes see him rocking the red and blue spandex...actually maybe this is too obvious

Freddie prinze Jr.- he's a bore I know, but if he was cast maybe he could get SMG involved somehow and I'm all for some spider, Buffy action.

Taye diggs - Yeah that's right, why not?....racist!

Hayden Christensen- on second thought mmm, nah , sure is pretty though

Jude Law- Why not an older Spider man , an older, British spider man, an older kinda dull ,British spider man.... no?

Ashton Kutcher- OK if they really cast his ass then we ALL just got PUNK'D!

Wentworth Miller - this Prison Break hottie, may come off a little too brooding and cool to play dorky Peter Parker, but he's got the appeal and the Geek fan base, plus we have a soft spot for ole Wenty.

Clay Aiken -The Height of boyish masculinity, Clay is also America's Idol , playing an American Comic book Icon would seal the deal for this manly mans appeal

Evan Ross -the secret love child of Micheal Jackson and Diana Ross, would make a great young Peter Parker for the new millennium, It's definitely time for a Multi culti SpiderMan. We'd just have to pump him up a little and he'd be perfection.

David Beckham - he just moved to L.A. and wants an acting gig, though it may be a tad bit distracting to have spidey Freaking out about how his hair looks in the middle of a battle

Orlando Bloom - he's got the look right? But it may be awkward co-starring with your hygeine-lacking ex

Paul Walker- he's fast and furious, let's throw some race cars up in there and we may have our man, to bad he looks like a major douche', he would have been perfect for Eddie Brock.

Ricky Martin- SpiderMan's gay Right?

(The Hotness that is) Joseph Gordon Levitt- I think we've found our man, Le' Sighhhhhh
You can't go wrong with a little JGL

Check out A pretty cool 7 minute Clip from SpiderMan 3 here:

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