Oh those High School Bitches...

HEATHER CHANDLER
That's pretty very. Now check this out. You
win five million dollars from Publishers
Sweepstakes, but on the same day what's-
his-face gives you the check, aliens
land on earth and say they're going
to blow up the world in two days.
What would you do?

A stunned tableau; until Country Club Kid KEITH speaks.

KEITH
That's easy. I'd just slide that wad
over to my father. He's like one of
the top brokers in the state.

VERONICA
Wake up. In two days, Earth's going
up like a Roman Candle. Crab Nebula City.

KEITH
Man, in two days, my dad could
double my money. Triple it.

COURTNEY
If I got that money, I'd give it
all to the Homeless. Every cent.

VERONICA
You're beautiful.

THE FOODLESS FUND STAND

PETER reaches into the Foodless Fund Box and takes some bills.

PETER
Dennis, my man, run over to Mickey
D.'s and get me a Big Mac and some fries.

DENNIS
But that's the Foodless Fund money.

PETER
Hey, even Bob Geldof's got to eat.
If it makes you feel better, bag the
fries, and nab yourself an Apple Pie.

CAFETERIA THOROUGHFARE

HEATHER CHANDLER drags VERONICA down a cafeteria lane.

HEATHER CHANDLER
If you're going to openly be a bitch....

VERONICA
(submissive)
I'm sorry, it's just why can't we
talk to different kinds of people?

HEATHER CHANDLER
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I
look like Mother Theresa? If I did,
I probably wouldn't mind talking to
the Geek Squad.