Screen Actors Trick Card: Tara Reid Owns One

I remember back in the day she actually was someone worth watching on the big screen. Remember her in the indie film Girl? Well I’m sure you remember her most from American Pie. Then she decide to go all slutterella on us and become the “Hollywood Party Girl”. She’s only worth blogging about because unfortunately she actually has a career in this business. WTF.

Anyways, we want to salute Tara Reid for being the first to obtain the world class Screen Actors Trick Card! You’ve made some mistakes and we appreciate you for making them! Keep on keeping on girl! With hit films like Van Wilder and My Boss’s Daughter, we’re really glad that you have made your mark in Hollywood. There are so many undiscovered talented actresses out there who cannot get a job because of you making one craptacular film to the next. I mean Devil’s Pond could have gone to an undiscovered talented award-worthy actress, but instead it went to you! Thank you so much for preventing that from happening.

God forbid Hollywood actually starts paying attention to talent above “hookerish” behavior. We can’t have our actresses in Hollywood actually caring about their craft now? Hollywood actresses MUST by all means party every weekday at the places like the Roxy in Hollywood or Marquee in NYC. They must do at least 3-5 lines of coke per night, and they HAVE to sleep with Colin Ferrell—that’s the only way to attain the Screen Actors Trick Card. Get your SAT’s here folks!

Tara Reid! We salute you!