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Friday, February 16, 2007

Let me tell you bout Yo' self!: Nicolas Cage

"Here I was minding my own damn business just stopping by the corner store tryna pick up some shit for the Apartment , get some of my personals and what not, wanna them Swansons Pot pies , cuz them shits is banging!, A couple of condoms and some chapstick cause you know a sistah gots to stay Glossy.
But what should i happen to notice hanging on the side of the Optimo but a billboard for that new haunted vehicle joint: Ghost Rider.
The poster did look kinda fly i gotta admit with the flame coming outta homeboys head and what not ,
but shit went down hill when i saw yo Whack ass name splayed all up on the top of that that billboard.
Why?, why must your lame ass Whackify every damn thing you touch, tell me this please cause I'm really not understanding. Ya need to stop making movies and sit ya ass down somewhere cause no one is tryin to see you or your whack ass "Action flicks" .
you know what? let me tell you bout yourself Mr. NichoLASS Cage!

1. ya ass cant act, you the same knuckle head in every role Mr. everyday buttery Ass white bread corney mother fucker, I mean Damn could you be more boring you ain't got no type of flava nowhere in that flaky ass body of yours, and you can't do a southern accent to save ya damn life, Con Air? C'mon,
plus ya got that whole weird Elvis fascination thing going too, which , Newsflash mother fucker you are not Elvis.
Elvis's fat, Little Richard Biting ass, died like 50 years ago on a toilet while chowing down on a peanut butta & ham sammich,
at least thats what i heard.

Ooooooh let me tell you what else i heard,
I heard that Damita, ..that heifah down the block, was bumping and grinding with Raekwon Last week at the clubs, you know Bonquishas babby father?
Mmhhmm, that skinny bitch is bout to get it, if that was MY Man Lafonze, oh hell naw ! It woulda been over that bitch woulda been got cut, I'da had to take it to the face wit mine
just get to slicing.

Oh, back to you, anyways nicolASS other reason i dont like you is cause didnt you steal my boy Michael Jackson woman? , yeah that's right, I'm all up on that. I see how you role, ain't no type of shame to your game.
There they was all happy and in love, kinda starting to look alike too in that "You are not alone video," I love that song that was my jam! and that video was tight too, that bitch got a booty too Lisa Marie Presley damn! For a white girl ,
you know she got some type a somethin else in her. I didn't see that coming.
But my boy MJ, did not need too take off his shirt like that, with that weak ass bird chest nobody is tryna see all that. That brotha needs to eat something, they got a Popeyes right down the corner, shit ill treat.
Get you a leg and thigh meal wit a side of biscuits WHAT?. $2.99 sucka!, cant beat that.
Oh ... yeah, i mean i guess you was alright in Adaptation and in Leaving LasVegas or whatever but really yo ass shoulda quit while you was ahead. now you just be making some bull shit for the money, The Rock? the Family Man, National Treasure Pah leass nucka, thank you , but nooo thank you aight !

that said...let me borrow 20 dollars right quick?"

Truly Yours : Shaniqua, Alvarez, Jenkins

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