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Friday, January 26, 2007

Whatever Happened to?: Natasha Lyonne

I used to love this chick, I remember she first popped up on my radar in the 1998 Tamara Jenkins film, The Slums of Beverly hills, where she played a slightly lesbonic adolescent coming into her own as a woman.
then she got us even more hooked, by being the best thing about the American Pie movies as the snarky, slightly lesbonic girl with all the experience and all of the answers,
and of course who could forget her role as Megan, the teenage lesbian sent to a special De-gaying camp, in the hilarious Jamie Babbit, flick But I'm a Cheerleader.
we loved her, and we wanted more.
She threw that straight to video Freeway sequel and that lame-O movie about Kiss into the mix and we still thought she was bad ass.

turns out this chick was just a bit too bad ass.
After her turn in 2004's Blade Trinity we hadn't heard much from her, We started to miss her, she wasn't popping up in as many movies anymore and I intended to find out why.
So after some detailed investigation ( Gossiping with some friends). I got the scoop on what Really happened to our old pal Natash.

Bitch is a mess!
in August 2001 she was arrested in Miami Beach for ramming her car into a street sign and then trying to flee the scene. It only got worse after that
word is that after she dated John Connor, from T-2, she got heavily into the Big H (Heroin), Ho started shooting up on the regular.
At the time she was also living in an apartment on east 18th street that was owned by actor Michael Rappaport.
Other tenants reported she was basically High all the time, Loud and Belligerent.
so after Natasha basically terrorized all of her neighbors, threatening to rape there dogs and what not
(source), bitch got kicked out, and was roaming the streets of the city homeless for awhile.
There was even word that she had veered all the way Down to crack-pipe road.
recently our dear sweet mess, popped up at New York's Beth Israel Medical center, with a case of the hepatitis C, witnesses say the bitch has a bad case of the Richies as well, Looking gaunt and sickly and that track marks are visible all over her arms
.(S) (hepatitis C is frequently contracted as a result of infected needles).

Girls been Busy,
I don't understand how you can go from being such a promising young actress, to being Homeless, roaming the streets of NY offering up sloppy blow jobs for pocket change
( I'm assuming a bitch gotta eat somehow)
Who knows maybe she still has some of that Blade Trinity money and didn't have to resort to ass selling.
whatever the case, gurl you need to get it together, Find Jesus, Islam , Tom cruise something.

Cause, "beat-down-druggie," is NOT a good look..... just ask THIS chick.
its time to clean it up, and work on that comeback, if she can do it so can you.
Those pseudo Lesbian roles aren't gonna play themselves.
I mean , lets wake up people!
Crack is soooo Whack.


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